Oh, no. Oh, Hell no. This can’t be happening, right? I mean this isn’t real. A guy in Miami did not eat another guy’s face off. Please, tell me that did not occur. No sadistic video game or gore-filled movie prepared me to live in a world where that actually happens. I refuse to read this report. There are pictures? I believe the appropriate acronym is GTFO. I do not need to see this. I do not want to believe a police report that on Saturday, Miami police shot and killed a man who was in the process of EATING ANOTHER MAN’S FACE. Reread that sentence. Also, to add to the considerable horror, the crazed cannibal was naked. Stephen King couldn’t make that up.

What would possess, and I mean literally possess, a human being to see a homeless man lying on the side of the road and think, “You know what? That dude’s face looks pretty darn appetizing right about now, but man it’s hot. I know! I’ll just pop my clothes off and help myself to a few bites of his cheek. I’m sure he won’t mind”? The answer, it now appears, is LSD. Yes, Rudy Eugene, 31, of North Miami Beach took a combination of LSD and cocaine sometime Saturday morning, and by Saturday afternoon was dining on human flesh. Face flesh. The terrifying ordeal took place near a downtown exit ramp for the busy MacArthur Causeway.

By all accounts, Eugene, henceforth known as the naked, flesh-eating zombie monster of Miami Beach, was a stable young man. Sure, he had a few previous run-ins with the law. A few tickets when he was younger for possession of marijuana and one battery charge from when he was a teenager were the only things that sullied his profile. Certainly nothing to suggest that one day he would commit a crime so shocking that it would scare the bejesus out of an entire country. Yet, that is exactly the kind of enormous power and influence certain drugs, when mixed together, can have on the human brain.

There have been well documented, highly publicized cases before of individuals who have snapped after ingesting certain combinations of drugs. The list of terrible deeds committed by human beings in the deep, dark midst of drug binges is as long as it is petrifying. If nothing else will keep you from experimenting with certain drugs, the thought of turning into a face-eating maniac certainly should. However, many people will see this story and immediately jump to the conclusion that this particular individual had more than a few screws lose, regardless of what drugs might have been in his system. While autopsy reports will hopefully be able to shed some more light on this gruesome incident, it will not be able to account for Eugene’s mental health.

The nightmare is now over, however, questions remain. What kind of LSD or cocaine was this? Was there anything else in his system that could explain such a catastrophic detachment from reality? Why, for God’s sake, was he naked? Hopefully, these questions will be answered in the coming days. Until then, we are left with yet another stunning episode of “when taking drugs goes wrong”.